siao liao. if this continues, i need a doctor... im really in depression.. ): in this world, i can only relate my problems to three pple and thats best fren, lin and dy. they're really great. they listen to me, give sensible advices,cheers me up when im down and most importantly, i trust them too.. but somehow, some things are really better to be left unsaid... i dun know how to start telling them my problems.. i dont wanna burden them when they themselves are feeling troubled already. they're sad and yet i cant cheer them up.. i feel so hyprocrite telling them to "cheer up,things will get better.." when i myself is in such shit... im used to being forgotten by people already..and thats why sometimes i feel so alone.. i wanna talk but who can i approach? my heart's like getting heavier and heavier as each day passes.. i told God that he can bring me away any moment that he wants to.. cos theres nothing left for me to do in this world. i wanna cherish my life but theres no point in me staying. i cant bring happiness to pple around me.. i only know how to trouble them with my problems and trouble them to cheer me up.. trouble them to take time to listen to me.. im so selfish.. i make my problem everybody's problem.. and i myself is not there when they need someone to solve their problems.. what the fucking shit am i? whats my purpose on earth? to make pple's life miserable? if i aint a coward, i would have gone a long time ago.. but i AM a coward,i am afraid of the pain.. i wanna talk to him so much but yet i dont know what to say..why cant i just tell him how much i care? ): i wish i could just off my handphone so i wouldnt be tempted to msg or call him.. but when i off my handphone,i'll be tempted to on it again.. 'BOOOOOOOO LIM PEI JIE! you're such a fucking loser.' i feel so sad and down lah.. if my heart had a face, it'll be crying..im sick of my life! i see a world made up of things so fake.. even im fake myself.. i put on smiles when im sad.. im so fake that i lost the real me..i dont even know who i am right now.. whose this fucking person thats invading me..? i wanna cry but im afraid i'll get addicted to it..who can bring a smile to my face again? ): please. im damn tired of being sad and emo.. can you tell me that you DO love me? i wanna love my life, i wanna smile and be happy always!! but i CANT! i think im going to fall sick any moment..
-piangs.i regretted choosing millenia institute lahs! why did i like to trouble myself and make myself stress? got poly and ite dont wanna go.. go what millenia? good lah,serve myself right... dont wanna listen to other pple lah.. see,i made stupid decisions that make myself regret times and times again.. i suck like shit. i wanna faster graduate from that sch and go overseas!! i hate that sch. i hate my life..i hate myself for being a loser. im fucking miserable..i wanna leave this world and go to God.. i dont wanna continue with such a loser life anymore..i cant help feeling like a loser. why dont i just fuck out of this world and be gone?!

`im addicted to this song -'just so you know' cos it reminds me of reality..i wished i knew how he feel..can someone please teach me how to stop acting like a coward?

♥ 9:04 PM